Bernie Noe, Head of School

Well, folks, the days are getting longer, the smell of spring is in the air, and off in the distance we can all see the coming end of the school year. At this time of year everyone comes out of the winter doldrums; optimism and possibility are in the air!

Over the winter break I read a book titled What Really Matters: Living a Moral Life amidst Uncertainty by Harvard psychologist and professor Arthur Kleinman. Kleinman presents the cases of several of his patients who lived through very difficult circumstances. He tries to determine what those individuals had in common that allowed them to cope effectively with their challenging situations. These differed for each person:  Some experienced political upheaval or war, while others experienced personal crises in relationships. What everyone’s circumstances had in common, however, was that in each case the right course of action was not clear, and in some cases never would be clear.

Kleinman concludes that the individuals who were best equipped to triumph in difficult times were those who clearly understood what they valued in life and what they stood for; those who had the courage to hold to their values; and those who were able to forgive both themselves and others when necessary. Given that there was often no clear right or wrong in each situation, it was important for these individuals to have the moral imagination necessary to find the right path in their circumstances.

While our students do not live in a period of political upheaval, at least in the United States, they do live, I believe, in times of moral uncertainty. Reality TV, the popular culture, and numerous celebrities in all fields of endeavor reinforce the message that anything goes in American society, that it is okay to make your own rules, do your own thing, get what you need for yourself, and always enjoy yourself! In the absence of a strong countering message from parents and schools (and, of course, from the other institutions and adults in our children’s lives), the popular culture wins out.

Lakeside students are a wonderful, kind, hard-working, and intelligent lot; but, as any group of middle- and high-school students, they are still very much sorting out who they are and what they believe in, and they are learning when it is necessary to take a stand and assert their beliefs. It is a critical responsibility for all of us as parents and teachers to help them with this process. Students must know that we value living an ethical life; they must see us model our own ethics; and they must be able to engage with us in discussion of ethical issues.

It is my observation that students, especially at the high-school level, both want and need such discussions with adults in their lives. So many discussions in senior classes I observe are really discussions about what one values, regardless of the subject matter. And, although it can sometimes be a complicated affair, our students need to see us all take a stand from time to time, whether as parents or as teachers or as a school. They need to see our values in action. I know as a parent that such stands are often met with significant short-term resistance and equally significant long-term understanding (although I am still waiting on a few issues).

We all know that our children will encounter challenging circumstances in their lives; it would not be life if it were otherwise. I ask that we all be very intentional in nurturing our students’ ability to meet these challenges, that we be just as intentional in this sphere as we are in nurturing an academic, artistic, or athletic talent, for, of course, we want our students to live ethical and courageous lives; we want them to grow and thrive even in the difficult times that life will present to them.

Have a great spring, everyone. I will see you all out on the sidelines or at performances.

Bernie